So, your 14 years old. I can't believe that was only a couple of years ago for me. You've come a long way. I know right now your worried about the future, just counting down the days until life actually becomes a little more interesting. Unfortunately it isn't quite that simple. The best advice I can give to you is, stop waiting. In the last few years since I was your age I've learnt a big life lesson; that nothing that comes easy will ever be as satisfying as the things you have to work your arse off to achieve. Waiting for your life to include a little more sunshine won't just come to you if you hope for it hard enough. You have to attack life and what you want from it with all the passion I know you have inside yourself, even if you don't see it.
Ok, I get it, kind of an intense start right? Let's touch on a sightly more light-hearted topic. Your excited for when you get to be my age. To you 17 sounds like an awesome stage in life, where you'll be partying, popular and probably have a gorgeous boyfriend that things the world of you (at least, that's what your diary suggests ). Well,... not exactly. Don't get me wrong, life isn't bad, it's just unexpected. You realised over the years that those things just didn't matter as much as you thought. So what that your not little miss popular? You have a group of unbelievable friends that love you despite your weird little laugh and kinda creepy sense of humour. So what that you don't go to parties? Trust me their over rated, and you hate loud music, drinking and big groups of people anyway. Believe me there will be nothing you like more that a big mug of coffee or tea (in a Disney mug of course) while watching Netflix. Wait! Do you know about Netflix yet? Shit, well don't worry about it. It's like your best friend but comes with a subscription charge. Anyway, back on topic. Where was I? Right, So what if your single and writing this letter alone on valentines day in 2016? Sixth form's hard. Correction, Sixth Form's a bitch. It takes a lot out of you and your going to be so focused with just getting all the work done that dealing with the drama of a relationship is the last thing on your mind. It's not what you wanted I know, but it isn't that bad. You're a good student and you've already achieved really good results at GCSE. OK, so maybe you didn't get those A*'s in History and Business that you wanted (sorry for the spoiler) but you still did really well. You also actually leave your bedroom once in a while, half the time just to go to the library but outside is still outside.
Your also a lot more confident when your my age, at least compared to how you are right now. I'll admit, you still sometimes look in the mirror and hate certain things. Your hips are too big, your ears stick out, your teeth aren't perfectly straight, blah, blah, blah. But in the end none of those things matter. You appreciate life so much more. and you're actually passionate about things. You care about the world and what happens in it. Soon enough you will be introduced to conflicting ideas about equality, justice, etc. and you will develop your own opinions that you should stand by. Those opinions are strong and you should never be ashamed of them, even if they are a little different from the majority. I'm only telling you this for your own peace of mind, so try and keep it to yourself, but you're actually not a terrible person, despite what some people might tell you. You may not like everyone but you believe in equality and treat people accordingly. You care about what happens to others, even if they don't see it. Oh, and about that problem you were having with that 'friend', don't worry. You sorted that out. It actually becomes one of your proudest moments. I didn't know you had it in you.
The point I'm trying to make is, you don't suck. Life may not be perfect, but it never will be. All I can really say is it gets better. You find a love for blogging and consequently, photography. You have far too many books, but you'll read them all eventually. You learn 'interesting' facts about things, such as the mating habits of snails and you also get to see pictures of genitalia with STD's in school (that's one thing you probably could have lived without seeing, at least you have a fair warning now, right? That probably doesn't make you feel much better). All you really need to remember is... it gets better. Including your fashion sense and taste in, well, everything. Just a hint, but do yourself a favour and listen to a few Panic! At The Disco songs tomorrow. You won't be sorry.Love,
17 year old you